We've all seen celebrity proposals and proposals on TV shows and movies and we've all listened to our significant others talk about how great Zoren's proposal was (this remains on top of my list of cannot-be-done-unless-super-rich proposals) or Chito's or John Pratt's. There're also low key ones like Chiz' or Dingdong's. There're also those videos in YouTube, the one who made a movie trailer, the one who closed a train station and so on. With the bar set high by these guys how can the average guy propose and make an impact?
Remember that it's about getting the YES! All the planning in the world will be for nothing if she says NO!
Love and I have only been a couple for less than a year but even before we became steady, our life goals were already aligned (she was my office mate for 2 years). We're open with each other about how we want to start a family, we rarely fight and we resolve well when we do, we both have good careers and we live together nicely. So why wait?
A friend asked me this question once: How do you know if the girl is the one?
My answer was: If I don't mind spending on her
A wedding proposal is the production of a lifetime. It's also a statement of how well a guy can provide for the future family. They say that the ring should cost at least twice the man's salary. I think that's reasonable. I started saving for the eventual wedding proposal and actual wedding as soon as we became steady.
Now that the budget is ready and the YES is at least 80% guaranteed. Let's get to the actual planning of the proposal.
Have a team
Like most things in life, a guy can't do a successful proposal in his own. My team consists of:
- Girl friends. Their opinion about the plan and the ring is highly valued. They know what women like better than us.
- A guy friend. This is more for the moral support and Go Bro! cheer.
- A jeweler. As I've learned from asking around, having a jeweler is better than purchasing in a retail establishment. They're flexible on meetups and they provide sizing tools and insights on ring specs. They also offer free re-sizing.
- A close friend of the fiancé-to-be. They know her taste in jewelry. We never pay attention to those things.
- A relative of the fiancé-to-be. This is essential if the plan involves asking permission from her family.
- A photographer/videographer. In our case, she was our tour guide as well.
Public or private? Private but scenic!
So how do I do it? What's the plan? A lot of ideas was thrown around by my council of ladies (from mid-air to overhead crowd pictures) but I wanted something simple and intimate yet memorable. We like to travel so why not a vacation proposal? Batanes came to mind, I was hearing about it all around. The view is supposed to be spectacular, perfect to set the ambiance. One of my friends already went so her inputs were really helpful. Booked the flight and accommodations a week after.
So how do I do it? What's the plan? A lot of ideas was thrown around by my council of ladies (from mid-air to overhead crowd pictures) but I wanted something simple and intimate yet memorable. We like to travel so why not a vacation proposal? Batanes came to mind, I was hearing about it all around. The view is supposed to be spectacular, perfect to set the ambiance. One of my friends already went so her inputs were really helpful. Booked the flight and accommodations a week after.
Get her ring size
There're lots of ways to get her ring size but what I did was I looked for a ring that she wears in her ring finger then I waited when she took a bath then I traced the ring using a pencil. After that I saw her wear the same ring in her middle finger T_T so what I did was I subtracted 1 whole size from the ring trace size (from 5.5 to 4.5).
The Ring
Then comes ring shopping. I was fortunate to have a friend who's mom is a jeweler. She gave me a lot of choices for my budget and I really liked the loose stone she showed me. I also get to choose the design for the band and she also offered free re-sizing if ever my measurement was wrong. They say that a single stone with carat x is more valuable (and expensive) than multiple stones with a total carat of also x, so with this in my mind, I just focused on 1 stone. I asked one of Love's friends about the band design and she gave nice inputs which eventually led to the final design.
Ask Permission
The first person I asked was my mom, she asked me if I was already sure and if I was ready. When I told her I am, she agreed and was excited on having a grand kid. Next was my surrogate mother, my aunt, she also agreed. Then, it was time to ask Love's family. I contacted her sister to set up a dinner for them including her mom, uncle and other siblings. I then went to Pampanga (we were fighting that day so she couldn't care less where I was, how convenient) and met up with the future in-laws. They were excited for us.
The Proposal Plan
The Ring
Then comes ring shopping. I was fortunate to have a friend who's mom is a jeweler. She gave me a lot of choices for my budget and I really liked the loose stone she showed me. I also get to choose the design for the band and she also offered free re-sizing if ever my measurement was wrong. They say that a single stone with carat x is more valuable (and expensive) than multiple stones with a total carat of also x, so with this in my mind, I just focused on 1 stone. I asked one of Love's friends about the band design and she gave nice inputs which eventually led to the final design.
Ask Permission
The first person I asked was my mom, she asked me if I was already sure and if I was ready. When I told her I am, she agreed and was excited on having a grand kid. Next was my surrogate mother, my aunt, she also agreed. Then, it was time to ask Love's family. I contacted her sister to set up a dinner for them including her mom, uncle and other siblings. I then went to Pampanga (we were fighting that day so she couldn't care less where I was, how convenient) and met up with the future in-laws. They were excited for us.
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| The Secret Dinner |
Now the actual proposal plan.
Some say that the way one proposes is more important than the ring, others say it's the reverse. I suggest doing good on both.
- Should I make a speech? I actually kinda made a cheezy speech but did not use it :-)
- Where in Batanes should I do it? I decided to wing it. Since I can't decide based on pictures alone, I just waited for the right place and right time during our tour.
- How do I document? This was the most problematic. There are no local photographers in Basco (I wanted pictures and not video since the background was scenic). I just brought a tripod and a Go Pro in case we were alone or maybe I can ask the tour guide secretly. Fortunately for me our tour guide was great at taking pictures!
Some say that the way one proposes is more important than the ring, others say it's the reverse. I suggest doing good on both.
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